I was at home when I Heard a explosive go of and I got scared so I decided to go. Check it out it was my neighbour so I got of my xbox and whent to go next door and so I knocked on my neighbours door and he opened the door. He was coverd in black liquid becuse he was a scientist so he does this all the time so I was ok with it but I said do you need any help he said yes can you pass me that rench so I did but then I hered my mum say dinner is ready. So I sad to the scientist I have to go bye the end.
Hello Sam,
I don’t know if I would be keen to have a scientist living next door if his experiments ended in explosions. I know you’re braver than me because I would stay well clear of him. I wonder what the black liquid was?
You have creative ideas so I hope you keep writing. Just one small tip, some of the “so” you used could have been a place for a new sentence.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia