Today I whent outside to play with my friends down the road and maybe play catch with the yollow balls it will be so fun but first i have to get ready and get my bike out so i can ride down the road so i am done. now so i am getting my bike out now i am riding down the hill ok i have got there now ok i have made it they whant to play with the yellow ball. So we played with the yellow ball the hole timei was fun but it is time for me to go home.
3 thoughts on “Outside”
Hello Sam, it was good how you described the action in your story. It did sound like fun. When you master punctuation it will help your stories flow more easily and allow you to write quite complicated stories, so keep at it. Just remember to use a capital letter when using “I” as in “I have to get ready…”. I enjoyed your story.
Outside playing with friends is one of the best ways spend your time. I could see how much you enjoyed it because of your story you shared. Well done.
One tip, before you post a story, check to see if there might have been places where a new sentence could be taken. I know I have to always check the things I write.
Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia
Well done Sam on a very energetic story! Make sure you use punctuation to help you create more actions in your story.